Marla. You Liar, You Big Tourist! I need this, now get out!

So the other day, the 19th actually, I was supposed to go into a surgeon's office and hopefully get cut opened and have Marla removed, (Marla, is my tumor, in case anyone has forgot.) I was referred to this surgeon by the doctor that had done the biopsy. I was told that the doctor's office would send the surgeon's office my file and the information. When the surgeon came into the room he seemed to know that I had a lump under my arm... That was about it. I'm not entirely sure, but I could have sworn I saw something about enlarged lymph-node on his paper; something he had wrote down. Now, I've already been through all this crap. I already know it's not a lymph-node. I know what it is. Then he drops the next statement to annoy me.

"I'd like to do an MRI"

WHY?! What the fuck?! Dr. Kellie has already opened me up, seen it, taken a chunk out of it and found out what it was. Do the same thing as her, just cut it all out instead of some of it. *Sigh* I go ahead and play along, but tell him that my insurance doesn't start until after the 1st, and I don't even know if it will cover the MRI. So he says that they'll wait and see if it will cover it because it is expensive, otherwise, they'll just do the surgery. OH! OH! I know. Do the fucking surgery. He also wants to get an Operating Room because it's apparently in a sensitive area. *.......* Once again, I've already been opened. Do it again. He also had a call in to an Oncologist; to make sure there isn't something else they should do first. I don't know if my face was showing my annoyance or not, and I realize that he's trying to be thorough, but I've been as thorough as I can be since mid-August.

On a better note, Marla hasn't been hurting at all in the past few weeks. I don't remember when I needed to take a pain pill. I just want to move on now and I have to get this thing out of me so I can wait for my arm to heal and then move on.

Welcome Back Kott... I mean Johnson

So I know I've been in Southern Oregon since August, but now that the move has happened and Lori and I have our own place, it's finally feeling real. The move was... well, better planned than some; just kinda went sideways a bit. After flying down to L.A. on Thursday, we all kinda slacked off that evening. Friday, we were supposed to get up early and go get the Truck from Bakersfield (it was about $1000 cheaper to get it from Bakersfield instead of L.A.) By the time we got back it was somewhere around 4ish before a box made it into the truck. Midnight rolled around and we decided that it was late and we were pooped and didn't want to wake anyone so we locked it up to finish in the morning. We did actually get up around 8ish to finish the job. It somehow managed to drag on and on until we finally got onto the Interstate at 4:45pm; a bit later than we had hoped to be on the road. About 30 miles into the drive I began to panic because I was already falling asleep; you know, the eyes rolling back for a second, shaking your head, the whole thing. But I wanted to keep going. We made it over the grapevine, (a ginormous hill) and I started to kinda feel better. But then my head started to hurt. Knowing the headaches I can get, this made me nervous in a completely different way. They can get ridiculously bad. We stopped at a truck stop and I picked up some rapid release Tylonal. That shit rocks. I felt a lot better after about 20 minutes. So we continued on until Santa Nella where we got gas and decided that it was time for food and time to sleep instead of pushing ourselves too hard. What an outstanding decision that was. We got up the next morning, had a really good continental breakfast, the best I've ever had, and got back on the road. We finally rode into town around 3:30. Got to our place and started unloading. Ugh, there were a few times I wanted to yell or swing at some people, but we were all tired and it wouldn't have helped anything. I finally got to sleep around 12:30 I think, in time to get up and be at work at 8am the next day. I grabbed my stuff from Ashland after work and I think we're finally all moved in. Well, at least our stuff is in the place... Just in boxes.

It's been nostalgia central for me lately. First, after nearly 12 years, I've moved back to the town I grew up in; Eagle Point, OR. It's a bit strange to live there agin. I can remember so many things about growing up there, but so many things are different. There are more people, new buildings, different roads, and I really miss the way it felt in the town. But that just comes with time... And a stupid golf course down the road. That place changed everything. :( But it still has a hint of what it used to be like. And I really like that feeling. I can't explain it. It's home. Out my back door and window in the morning is neat...




Other things that have been taking me back have been on TV. I have cable at work and while I'm working or have nothing to do I'll watch a bit. Every morning I watch Saved By The Bell. I know a lot of people shutter or roll their eyes at this show. But there's just something about it that makes me happy. It's so cheesy and great all at the same time. I remember watching it growing up. Then repeats, and now again. I can't get enough. It's just... I don't know... A happy place. GO BAYSIDE!

After Saved By The Bell for an hour, (although it's on for 2 but I get to work for the last hour) I watch The Fresh Prince of Bell Air. Also a great show. Also cheesy. I get a different feeling from this show, but still good. It doesn't have the same effect that SBTB has on me, but still good. I think an hour of each of these shows is a good way to start the day off.

I've caught a few moves on AMC lately too. The Hunt For Red October has been on a lot, and is an excellent piece of film. The other day however, I caught the end of The Karate Kid, and then Karate Kid 2. They really are outstanding movies. They're of course very formulaic, but if it works, who am I to argue. They were also directed by the guy who directed Rocky. There's just something great about those movies.

Well, now that I've gone all retarded about things of the past, I'll end this for today. Give Saved By The Bell another watch. But be open minded about it. I know it's silly, and about kids who aren't really the best role models, but it's just.... fun. It's something that lightens the mood and eases tension. Something we could all use sometimes.

Fun Times...

So it's been a little bit since I mentioned anything here. So, work is still going smoothly, I still have a tumor, and things continue to be stressful. Lori did finally get her bonus and has now put in her two weeks. I'll be flying down to L.A. on the 13th, loading a truck and driving back that weekend to hopefully move into an apartment; we haven't heard back on it yet. Trying to get this move going and settled has turned into a small nightmare. I'm trying to make everything fair and reasonable, and quite frankly, I'm bending over a little backwards to make everyone happy. Once again, Brian & Lori try and be the nice people and do the right thing. I'm getting really tired of being the person that is dangerously close to getting fucked over. Just once, I want things to go smoothly, and nobody feels upset about the situation. Sometimes I just don't want to help anymore. Soon, I will become a person that is only about himself, or ourselves, when it comes to Lori and I, and I just don't want to become that person. Those type of people are pushing me to though... Just when I think things are going to even out and be calm, it good for a second and then... *SPLAT* The shit hits the fan. Annoying.

Hopefully, in a few weeks, this will all be behind us.


Oh, on a side note, I generally stay away from any kind of political discussion as it can lead to bad things, AND I don't read enough information to really support my side in an argument. I admit it. I just know how I feel about a subject when I'm asked. I didn't even vote because it would not be an informed decision. So I have little room to argue. With that said, I'd like to welcome everyone who voted yesterday to the New America. The America that rewards slackers, an America that is going to "Spread the Wealth"... A Socialist America. Oh yeah... Socialism. Hence: "...socialism would be achieved via class struggle and a proletarian revolution which represents the transitional stage between capitalism and communism." -Wikipedia

Good work America, you've put us on the road to communism.

2009 Acura TL

So I made this spot following a script. I didn't choose the music, and I hate it. But I did pretty much everything else. It's no biggie, but kinda cool.

Marla... My tumor.

"If I did have a tumor, I'd call it Marla." - Jack, Fight Club

And so I do. It's name is Marla. Perhaps this is all because I said I didn't think Fight Club was my favorite movie anymore. Anyway, today I went to the Doctor to re-dress and apparently get results of the biopsy. I'll try my best to explain what's happening.

White piece of paper from Doctor says:

"Sections reveal a fragment of soft tissue containing a partially circumscribed nodule composed of oval to spindled cells admixed with collagen. Scattered multinucleated giant cells are present. There is abundant metaplastic bone formation. A few scattered mitotic figures are present within the proliferation. There is no significant atypia of the cells. Lymph node tissue is not identified. The histologic features are consistent with a giant cell tumor of soft tissue."


Whew! What the fuck does that all mean? Well, what I finally got out of it in short was, a giant cell tumor of low malignant potential. So I have a benign tumor. It's really rare and it usually happens inside bones. She said that she had a hard time finding results based on soft tissue. The Doctor went over each sentence with me. It was fairly confusing. One part I found interesting was the abundant metaplastic bone formation. She said it was kinda like people who have tumors in their stomach and they have hair and teeth. But it wasn't exactly that. This sentence just meant that it was actually forming little tiny bones I guess; or something like that. Pretty crazy. All the other sentences pretty much mean that no signs are pointing to cancer. Yay me! But there is of course that low potential. It's apparently extremely low. So, now I'll have to have surgery. When it will be, I'm not sure. I start getting insurance in December, I think. But if I find out that it won't cover this, even though it will be through my job, then I'll have the surgery sooner than later. I found out that depending on the policy and sometimes depending on how long you have not had insurance, they can deny coverage for surgery because of pre-existing conditions despite being insurance through a job. So there is a end in sight; just not sure when it'll be.




They pulled out the sutures and put a large piece of gauze on it and wrapped it up. Doc said it was doing really well. I don't go back in until next Tuesday. So I guess this is all a good sign.



On a job note, I've started to edit more and more commercials. Today I started from scratch a 2009 Acura TL spot. I get to choose the footage and how it goes together. It's great fun; at least for me.

-BJ

Tough Cookie

So on Tuesday, September 30th, I went in to get cut open and see what the hell this lump in my arm was all about. I was pretty nervous about the procedure. I mean, I didn't think i was going to die or anything, it was just that I was going to be cut open; not all that fun. So I arrive there and wait for about an hour to get into a room. Then I wait another 45 minutes or so to get things started. I ask if it's okay to listen to music while the procedure takes place. Indeed it was. I had loaded up my phone with a bunch of Underworld; my favorite band. I turn it on as the procedure starts. They clean it off, spray some cold stuff on it, inject the numbing solution and start working. It wasn't that bad. There were plenty of uncomfortable feelings, pressure and just odd thoughts as she told me about how she had her finger in there and was feeling around. Sadly, she was not able to get the entire lump out. She said that it was firmly attached and that if the lump had been a little more giving and could be pulled a little toward the outside, she would have got it. But she didn't feel comfortable trying to get the whole thing. Instead she cut a pie wedge chunk and a little bit more to send to the pathologist. She said it would take about a week or so to get anything back. They wrapped up my arm after what I found out a few days later was two stitches, and sent me on my way. They set up an appointment for a redress in two days.

Two days later I come in for the redress. So hears what I thought was happening, take off my bloody bandages, and put clean ones one. That was not what was happening at all! Well I suppose that did happen after why I was really there. So it would seem that they had to leave a special gauze in there to soak up the drainage, seepage, whatever. So today they needed to remove the old gauze and pack new gauze. This is not fun. At all. I came prepared for a new wrap job. I was on zero pain killers and they decided not to numb the area. I'm not really sure why they didn't do that. I remember breaking my ankle and that was really painful. This is probably a close second only because it was only for about 5 minutes instead of weeks. Although, I have been dealing with pain for weeks now, just not as excruciating as what took place this day. Once it was over the Doctor and assistant kept asking if I was okay. They apparently were amazed at how well i endured the pain. During the repack the Doctor told me it was okay to scream profanity and call her names as she was married to a truck driver. I did a lot of breathing and concentration; and squeezing the assistants ring and pinky fingers. They also mentioned that it was one of the biggest packing jobs they have ever had to do. By the end of it Dr. Sprangel said that I was one tough cookie. I laughed and told her that's what my wife calls me; Cookie. She told me to tell her that I was no longer a cookie, but a tough cookie.



I left the Doctor's office and headed over to my Mom's to help her set up her new TV and PS3. Thankfully, I had asked Curtis to come over and help me because I was in no condition ot pull cables around and reach for different electronics. Curtis was a big help. I got Mom's PS3 up and running, put a game on it for her and headed back to Ashland.

The next day I woke up feeling like crap. I had a headache and felt nauseous. I got dressed and started drinking a glass of milk. I didn't make it through the glass of milk before it was time to head to the bathroom and remove that milk instantly from my body. I called into work, which I really didn't want to do. Went to bed and drank some water which came back up later anyway. Finally around 7:30pm I started to feel slightly better and had some soup. Saturday I tried to go into work and do some stuff I was going to do on Friday only to find that the computers were borked and I couldn't do anything on them. So I ended up hanging with Ginger the rest of the day. Sunday was spent playing Ninja Gaiden 2. (See my review over at Nosh's Game Emporium. http://noshimitsu-games.blogspot.com/ )

Monday was time for another repack on the arm. This time, I procured a driver and took two of my pain pills when heading out. They also used some numbing stuff. This time went way smoother and was over before I knew it. There were no results from the biopsy yet, so hopefully Thursday when I go in again for the redress.

Well that was long probably boring for any of you who read this. Work is getting better. they're giving me actual spots to edit and stuff. I still have a ton to learn, but it's a lot of fun. Guess that's about it for now. Until next time, same Bat time, same Bat channel.

-BJ

Guns & Alcohol

One of the best things I've ever seen. I didn't even know it happened.

Conan O'Brien - Hunter S Thompson

The New Doctor

Yesterday I went to a new doctor out in Eagle Point. Lori's parents has wanted me to get a second opinion for awhile. Thankfully, I went out and talked to her about my lump under my arm and my possibly inflamed liver. Dr. Sprangel and I talked for a fairly long time and then she proceeded to start checking my lump and liver and comparing and whatnot. It was a total change to what I was used to at the Medford Medical Center. At the MMC they would check the lump, but for all of 10 seconds. I figured they knew what they were doing. Dr. Sprangel took her time and asked a lot more questions. By the end of it all, she gave me some antibiotics (samples of expensive ones), took some blood to check the liver numbers again, and has now scheduled me for a biopsy. We're still not sure what this lump really is. If she gets in there and finds that she can remove it, she will. Otherwise they're taking a chunk of it to help determine what it is. Either way, I'm getting cut. It probably will not be fun. She gave me a prescription for Vicoprofin, which is Vicodin but with ibuprofen instead of Tylenol; and a refill... I'm hoping we are closer to getting a solution for getting rid of this stupid lump. Hopefully some news on Tuesday when I go in for the biopsy.

Investments and Purchases

So on Monday I had finally grown tired of using my Motorolla Razor phone. Within the last few months the frequency of my text messaging had escalated. Typing out words on a standard number pad was starting to get to me. On top of that, my phone was starting to feel a little dated. Sure it worked, but it was 2 years old and cell phones were a lot better. Don't get me wrong, the Motorolla Razor is a damn fine phone. It's the best phone I've owned thus far. That is until I stopped by AT&T and picked up the Apple 3G 16GB iPhone.

I had spent the afternoon looking at different phones on the AT&T website, and had picked a few that might be what I wanted for an upgrade. I called my brother to see if he knew anything about the phones I had picked from the website. After talking about a few of them, it led to this.

Marc: Dude, you just need to get an iPhone.
Me: Really? You think I actually need one?
Marc: (Not even waiting a second) Yes.

There was some more talk about what it can do and some features, on top of my boss had already been telling me all about his. They convinced me I needed one. I talked to Lori about it expecting an immediate no from her. But then she talked about what card I could put it on. She really wanted me to upgrade my phone.

So I head down to the AT&T and start poking around at a display one until a guy comes to help me. Asks me some questions, one in particular I thought was a good point.

Ken (Sales guy): So where you looking for the 8gb or the 16gb?
Me: Well probably the 8gb. I don't really see myself needing that much space...
Ken: Okay. I know the 8gb is $199 but the 16gb is obviously twice that and for only $100 more. I'm running low on the 8gb, but I have 16s.

I can already see what's happening here...

Ken: But let me ask you this... The contract when you get an iPhone has to be for 2 years.
Me: Ok.
Ken: Where do you see yourself in two years?

I take a moment to think about the possibilities of where and what I'll be doing in 2 years. I convince myself that it is actually possible that I may end up needing the space. What if I need apps that will take up space? What if I get into personal editing and can get stuff and store stuff and have it mobile? It doubles as an iPod, granted I have one, but I don't bring it everywhere...

Me: Well you make a good point. Let me call my wife and talk to her about it.
Ken: Alright. Let me know.


I call Lori and give her the information I had just assimilated.

Ken: (He walks over, quietly) I just checked, I'm out of the 8gb.
Me: (still on the phone) Okay. (Hmmm, "out")

The short version is that she agreed that we should look at the phone as investment, especially for two years.

I left the store a little bit after that conversation, new iPhone in hand, somewhat dumbfounded by what just took place.

Lori and I are fairly god about money. But sometimes we aren't. We convince ourselves that we need something and we get it. Fortunately, I get paid tomorrow. And it will probably be more than I made the during the month of July this year while working at a movie theater, and it's for a partial pay period.

Despite my mind thinking about money, I start to play with the phone. I must say that so far, it's pretty sweet. There are a lot of things I never thought I'd want r need that I'm finding on this phone to be useful. I made a doctors appointment while writing this, and decided, I should add that to my iCalendar. I mean why not, it's there. Why not make use of it? Sure my life isn't that hectic that I need a day planner, but why not try and use something like that? The internet is done really well on the phone, and the contacts list is done really well; to the point that you can add notes and nicknames about each one. and you can add multiple phones to each entry instead of having multiple entries for the same person, i.e. Brian, Brian's cell, etc...

It wasn't until later that I kinda felt bad. Lori's parents have been helping me with medical bills. And it dawned on me that I'm came strolling in with a new phone, after buying Star Wars: The Force Unleashed the previous week. Lori and I had talked about getting that game already. I've been waiting for it for a few years now. I've certainly been a money spender in my time, but I try not to when I owe people money. In my mind, I don't owe people money right now. Her parents have never asked us to pay them back for anything they've helped us on. I've asked a few different times about paying stuff back. They all but push me out of the way at the doctor's office lately. I... well we (Lori & Brian) really appreciate everything they've done for us. So with this, Lori said, that I really needed to upgrade my phone. This was going to be a useful item. Something I needed. Sure I could have picked up a cheaper, less gadgety phone, but it was, as we said, an investment. I need to let Lori's parents know how much we appreciate them, and that Lori and I will start paying them back when we get a little more stable. Maybe not just me bringing in checks, but when we to where ever we're going to end up. They'll probably say don't worry about it, but it's starting to rack up with all these doctor visits, and I don't them to feel like Lori and I are taking advantage of them.

With that said, I leave. The iPhone is actually pretty sweet. I wasn't sure, but now that I have one, it would be hard to ever go back to something like the Razor.

It's time to do a magic trick.

Okay, so I've never been one to blog... About anything.  I've never thought it would be very useful.  But as I get older and I have more and more things on my mind, I'm starting to wonder if it wouldn't help to jot down some things every now and then.  So this magic trick won't be about making a pencil disappear, but to see if I can and/or will do this.  

I'll start with my attempt at my current life situation in a nut shell...

I'm currently 30 years old, I've been married to the loveliest woman Lori for 6 years as of two days ago, I have a Bachelor of Science in Film, I have 2 cats, and I'm... scratch that...  My wife and I are currently in one of the hardest times of lives.  We've decided that Los Angeles is no longer where we want to be; although, I think it's mostly me; and we're living in separate cities trying to make money to make our future work.  On top of that, I've developed a strange and sometimes painful lump under my right arm, on the backside on my armpit; which may have led to an inflamed liver.  In addition, the doctors I've seen can't really spread too much light on the subject as I do not have health insurance right now and can not afford the tests they'd like to run.  The good thing is that they don't seem to be too worried about it yet.  I think if it was life threatening they would push or just flat out tell me I need to do them.  Woo Hoo!  Wait, no, that sucks rat balls.  

That pretty much sums up the current situation.  The good things I have going for me is that I do have Lori, regardless of the fact that she is nearly 700 miles away.  I know she is always with me.  I'm also back where I spent most of my life; in Southern Oregon.  I've been living with Lori's parent's, David and Danna Lee Gustafson.  They have been ridiculously great to me.  They treat me like I am their own son.  They've never made me feel like just some guy that married their daughter.  On top of that, many of my old friends are here.  For the most part I've been spending my time with Curtis; a friend since high school, and my friend Ginger; my friend since 1997.  They're both really great about giving support and just being my friend while I am away from my other half.  My immediate family is here as well.  And while I'm sure they wished they saw me more often, I just don't make the time.  Most of them are busy with their own lives but they try their best to spend time.  They try harder than I do.  I've always been closer to my friends then my family, and I always make time for my friends; despite being slapped in the face for it on more than one occasion.

I'm going to go ahead and wrap this up.  I could probably drone on and on about whatever once I get started.  I think this is a good start.  Let's see when I write again.