MARLA: Looks like this is goodbye.

JACK: Well let's not a big thing out of it.


So eight months ago I had a pain in my armpit...

Finally, on April 6th, I was able to start moving on from a lingering threat inside my body. At first it was painful and doctors couldn't tell me what it was. They tried with minimal test and got nowhere. Then more evasive tests were done that revealed a Giant Celled Tumor With Low Malignant Potential. Okay. Let's get it out of there. Well, first they wanted to do an MRI. That's too expensive. Okay, let's do the surgery. No wait, your insurance would rather take the chance of letting become worse then pay out the money as there is a pre-existing condition clause of six months. Which ended in March. March rolls around... Oh yeah, we're supposed to call you and set something up. Looks like you'll have to come in again as a formality; then we'll set a date. April 6th because that date.

I can't sleep the night before. But I finally get a little and wake up at 5:59AM to watch my clock change a minute and the alarm goes off. I press snooze. I lay there awake. The alarm goes off again. I turn it off and stumble into the shower. Lori and I finally get ready to go. We're late as usual for us. We roll into the surgical building at 7:40 or so. We check in. We wait for a little bit and then are taken to a room for me to change and have the same questions asked that I've already answered. But whatever. I was asked what I was having done about 5 times.

"I'm having a Giant Celled Tumor with low malignant potential removed." I responded pretty much every time.

The doctor comes in to make sure there aren't any questions before the surgery. I ask if I can keep it. Sadly, I can't. They want to cut it up and look at it. Oh well.

After waiting a bit, I'm saying bye to Lori and being wheeled down to my operating room; more worried about how Lori is going to hold up during the time I'm completely out of it. The nurse and I talk about the weather and whatnot until I arrive at the room. It's white and sterile. As it should be. I slide over from the bed to the operating table that holds this odd bag-mattress thing. It's got tiny beads or something in it. I slide down so my head rests on the pillow. Nurses and doctors are moving around in their dance number that they routinely do. A doctor begins to tell me what will happen. He eventually tells me he's going to start injecting the anesthesia into the I.V. Within seconds I feel the tingle and the sleepiness. I giggle. I giggle some more and then I hear nothing.

Seconds; to me; I wake up somewhere else. It's a little fuzzy. There's a nurse standing there. There's always a nurse just standing there when you wake up from surgery. She immediately starts fiddling around, making sure I'm okay. I'm shaking a bit; like a shiver for a few seconds then stopping. Then again. She gives me something for it in my I.V. I stop.

I manage to muster a question, "When do I see my wife?"

"When we wheel you back to the other area, she can come see you."

I'm apparently satisfied with that answer as I start to wonder if i can move without pain and if everything went okay.

"Well, I'm awake. I'm guessing everything went okay." I say.

"Everything went fine." She responds in a reassuring voice. She's moving at lightning speed to me right now. She feeds me ice chips. They're great. Who knew ice chips were so great? She says some other stuff I don't quite remember. Something about how I was shivering and now I'm not.

More ice chips.

Finally, we're on our way. I have no idea where we are, so I don't know how long until the other area.

We reach the next room I'll be hanging out in. The nurse continues to fill out stuff on a computer. "Would you like some juice? We have Cranberry, Apple..."

"Apple. Please."

Lori arrives with a great look of relief. She already knew I was fine, but hadn't seen me yet. I'm elated to see her. I drink my apple juice, take a pain pill, and just chill with Lori. After a little more waiting, I'm allowed to get dressed and I'm wheel-chaired downstairs with Lori who then goes to get the car. I'm not in a lot of pain thankfully. And just a little woozy. But surprisingly alert. After a quick trip to Costco for pain meds, we head home; like it was any other day.

Later that afternoon, I finally acted on my desire for a Peanut Buster Parfait. We head to DQ and it was delicious. I spend the majority of the day playing City of Heroes/Villains. We round out the night watching WWE Raw where Batista, my favorite wrestler, returns at the end after being out on injury and recovery. Damn you Jim Glasgow for getting me into wrestling. :P


The following day, today, I'm at work. They must have put a gallon of local anesthetic in me because my arm is still partially numb to touch. I worry about two things; A) the pain that may come once the numbness wears off. And 2) what if there is some nerve damage and it'll just be numb... There are a lot of nerve clusters there. The best way I can describe the feeling is take your hand and place it against someone hand. Hand opened, fingers spread. Now take you index and thumb and rub the two index fingers that are touching between your hand and the other persons. Feels weird right? That's what the back side of my upper arm feels like. I guess we'll see what happens.

I wonder how long before I can disc golf, or bowl, or shoot guns, or golf. Soon I hope.

Marla. You Liar, You Big Tourist! I need this, now get out!

So the other day, the 19th actually, I was supposed to go into a surgeon's office and hopefully get cut opened and have Marla removed, (Marla, is my tumor, in case anyone has forgot.) I was referred to this surgeon by the doctor that had done the biopsy. I was told that the doctor's office would send the surgeon's office my file and the information. When the surgeon came into the room he seemed to know that I had a lump under my arm... That was about it. I'm not entirely sure, but I could have sworn I saw something about enlarged lymph-node on his paper; something he had wrote down. Now, I've already been through all this crap. I already know it's not a lymph-node. I know what it is. Then he drops the next statement to annoy me.

"I'd like to do an MRI"

WHY?! What the fuck?! Dr. Kellie has already opened me up, seen it, taken a chunk out of it and found out what it was. Do the same thing as her, just cut it all out instead of some of it. *Sigh* I go ahead and play along, but tell him that my insurance doesn't start until after the 1st, and I don't even know if it will cover the MRI. So he says that they'll wait and see if it will cover it because it is expensive, otherwise, they'll just do the surgery. OH! OH! I know. Do the fucking surgery. He also wants to get an Operating Room because it's apparently in a sensitive area. *.......* Once again, I've already been opened. Do it again. He also had a call in to an Oncologist; to make sure there isn't something else they should do first. I don't know if my face was showing my annoyance or not, and I realize that he's trying to be thorough, but I've been as thorough as I can be since mid-August.

On a better note, Marla hasn't been hurting at all in the past few weeks. I don't remember when I needed to take a pain pill. I just want to move on now and I have to get this thing out of me so I can wait for my arm to heal and then move on.

Welcome Back Kott... I mean Johnson

So I know I've been in Southern Oregon since August, but now that the move has happened and Lori and I have our own place, it's finally feeling real. The move was... well, better planned than some; just kinda went sideways a bit. After flying down to L.A. on Thursday, we all kinda slacked off that evening. Friday, we were supposed to get up early and go get the Truck from Bakersfield (it was about $1000 cheaper to get it from Bakersfield instead of L.A.) By the time we got back it was somewhere around 4ish before a box made it into the truck. Midnight rolled around and we decided that it was late and we were pooped and didn't want to wake anyone so we locked it up to finish in the morning. We did actually get up around 8ish to finish the job. It somehow managed to drag on and on until we finally got onto the Interstate at 4:45pm; a bit later than we had hoped to be on the road. About 30 miles into the drive I began to panic because I was already falling asleep; you know, the eyes rolling back for a second, shaking your head, the whole thing. But I wanted to keep going. We made it over the grapevine, (a ginormous hill) and I started to kinda feel better. But then my head started to hurt. Knowing the headaches I can get, this made me nervous in a completely different way. They can get ridiculously bad. We stopped at a truck stop and I picked up some rapid release Tylonal. That shit rocks. I felt a lot better after about 20 minutes. So we continued on until Santa Nella where we got gas and decided that it was time for food and time to sleep instead of pushing ourselves too hard. What an outstanding decision that was. We got up the next morning, had a really good continental breakfast, the best I've ever had, and got back on the road. We finally rode into town around 3:30. Got to our place and started unloading. Ugh, there were a few times I wanted to yell or swing at some people, but we were all tired and it wouldn't have helped anything. I finally got to sleep around 12:30 I think, in time to get up and be at work at 8am the next day. I grabbed my stuff from Ashland after work and I think we're finally all moved in. Well, at least our stuff is in the place... Just in boxes.

It's been nostalgia central for me lately. First, after nearly 12 years, I've moved back to the town I grew up in; Eagle Point, OR. It's a bit strange to live there agin. I can remember so many things about growing up there, but so many things are different. There are more people, new buildings, different roads, and I really miss the way it felt in the town. But that just comes with time... And a stupid golf course down the road. That place changed everything. :( But it still has a hint of what it used to be like. And I really like that feeling. I can't explain it. It's home. Out my back door and window in the morning is neat...




Other things that have been taking me back have been on TV. I have cable at work and while I'm working or have nothing to do I'll watch a bit. Every morning I watch Saved By The Bell. I know a lot of people shutter or roll their eyes at this show. But there's just something about it that makes me happy. It's so cheesy and great all at the same time. I remember watching it growing up. Then repeats, and now again. I can't get enough. It's just... I don't know... A happy place. GO BAYSIDE!

After Saved By The Bell for an hour, (although it's on for 2 but I get to work for the last hour) I watch The Fresh Prince of Bell Air. Also a great show. Also cheesy. I get a different feeling from this show, but still good. It doesn't have the same effect that SBTB has on me, but still good. I think an hour of each of these shows is a good way to start the day off.

I've caught a few moves on AMC lately too. The Hunt For Red October has been on a lot, and is an excellent piece of film. The other day however, I caught the end of The Karate Kid, and then Karate Kid 2. They really are outstanding movies. They're of course very formulaic, but if it works, who am I to argue. They were also directed by the guy who directed Rocky. There's just something great about those movies.

Well, now that I've gone all retarded about things of the past, I'll end this for today. Give Saved By The Bell another watch. But be open minded about it. I know it's silly, and about kids who aren't really the best role models, but it's just.... fun. It's something that lightens the mood and eases tension. Something we could all use sometimes.

Fun Times...

So it's been a little bit since I mentioned anything here. So, work is still going smoothly, I still have a tumor, and things continue to be stressful. Lori did finally get her bonus and has now put in her two weeks. I'll be flying down to L.A. on the 13th, loading a truck and driving back that weekend to hopefully move into an apartment; we haven't heard back on it yet. Trying to get this move going and settled has turned into a small nightmare. I'm trying to make everything fair and reasonable, and quite frankly, I'm bending over a little backwards to make everyone happy. Once again, Brian & Lori try and be the nice people and do the right thing. I'm getting really tired of being the person that is dangerously close to getting fucked over. Just once, I want things to go smoothly, and nobody feels upset about the situation. Sometimes I just don't want to help anymore. Soon, I will become a person that is only about himself, or ourselves, when it comes to Lori and I, and I just don't want to become that person. Those type of people are pushing me to though... Just when I think things are going to even out and be calm, it good for a second and then... *SPLAT* The shit hits the fan. Annoying.

Hopefully, in a few weeks, this will all be behind us.


Oh, on a side note, I generally stay away from any kind of political discussion as it can lead to bad things, AND I don't read enough information to really support my side in an argument. I admit it. I just know how I feel about a subject when I'm asked. I didn't even vote because it would not be an informed decision. So I have little room to argue. With that said, I'd like to welcome everyone who voted yesterday to the New America. The America that rewards slackers, an America that is going to "Spread the Wealth"... A Socialist America. Oh yeah... Socialism. Hence: "...socialism would be achieved via class struggle and a proletarian revolution which represents the transitional stage between capitalism and communism." -Wikipedia

Good work America, you've put us on the road to communism.

2009 Acura TL

So I made this spot following a script. I didn't choose the music, and I hate it. But I did pretty much everything else. It's no biggie, but kinda cool.

Marla... My tumor.

"If I did have a tumor, I'd call it Marla." - Jack, Fight Club

And so I do. It's name is Marla. Perhaps this is all because I said I didn't think Fight Club was my favorite movie anymore. Anyway, today I went to the Doctor to re-dress and apparently get results of the biopsy. I'll try my best to explain what's happening.

White piece of paper from Doctor says:

"Sections reveal a fragment of soft tissue containing a partially circumscribed nodule composed of oval to spindled cells admixed with collagen. Scattered multinucleated giant cells are present. There is abundant metaplastic bone formation. A few scattered mitotic figures are present within the proliferation. There is no significant atypia of the cells. Lymph node tissue is not identified. The histologic features are consistent with a giant cell tumor of soft tissue."


Whew! What the fuck does that all mean? Well, what I finally got out of it in short was, a giant cell tumor of low malignant potential. So I have a benign tumor. It's really rare and it usually happens inside bones. She said that she had a hard time finding results based on soft tissue. The Doctor went over each sentence with me. It was fairly confusing. One part I found interesting was the abundant metaplastic bone formation. She said it was kinda like people who have tumors in their stomach and they have hair and teeth. But it wasn't exactly that. This sentence just meant that it was actually forming little tiny bones I guess; or something like that. Pretty crazy. All the other sentences pretty much mean that no signs are pointing to cancer. Yay me! But there is of course that low potential. It's apparently extremely low. So, now I'll have to have surgery. When it will be, I'm not sure. I start getting insurance in December, I think. But if I find out that it won't cover this, even though it will be through my job, then I'll have the surgery sooner than later. I found out that depending on the policy and sometimes depending on how long you have not had insurance, they can deny coverage for surgery because of pre-existing conditions despite being insurance through a job. So there is a end in sight; just not sure when it'll be.




They pulled out the sutures and put a large piece of gauze on it and wrapped it up. Doc said it was doing really well. I don't go back in until next Tuesday. So I guess this is all a good sign.



On a job note, I've started to edit more and more commercials. Today I started from scratch a 2009 Acura TL spot. I get to choose the footage and how it goes together. It's great fun; at least for me.

-BJ

Tough Cookie

So on Tuesday, September 30th, I went in to get cut open and see what the hell this lump in my arm was all about. I was pretty nervous about the procedure. I mean, I didn't think i was going to die or anything, it was just that I was going to be cut open; not all that fun. So I arrive there and wait for about an hour to get into a room. Then I wait another 45 minutes or so to get things started. I ask if it's okay to listen to music while the procedure takes place. Indeed it was. I had loaded up my phone with a bunch of Underworld; my favorite band. I turn it on as the procedure starts. They clean it off, spray some cold stuff on it, inject the numbing solution and start working. It wasn't that bad. There were plenty of uncomfortable feelings, pressure and just odd thoughts as she told me about how she had her finger in there and was feeling around. Sadly, she was not able to get the entire lump out. She said that it was firmly attached and that if the lump had been a little more giving and could be pulled a little toward the outside, she would have got it. But she didn't feel comfortable trying to get the whole thing. Instead she cut a pie wedge chunk and a little bit more to send to the pathologist. She said it would take about a week or so to get anything back. They wrapped up my arm after what I found out a few days later was two stitches, and sent me on my way. They set up an appointment for a redress in two days.

Two days later I come in for the redress. So hears what I thought was happening, take off my bloody bandages, and put clean ones one. That was not what was happening at all! Well I suppose that did happen after why I was really there. So it would seem that they had to leave a special gauze in there to soak up the drainage, seepage, whatever. So today they needed to remove the old gauze and pack new gauze. This is not fun. At all. I came prepared for a new wrap job. I was on zero pain killers and they decided not to numb the area. I'm not really sure why they didn't do that. I remember breaking my ankle and that was really painful. This is probably a close second only because it was only for about 5 minutes instead of weeks. Although, I have been dealing with pain for weeks now, just not as excruciating as what took place this day. Once it was over the Doctor and assistant kept asking if I was okay. They apparently were amazed at how well i endured the pain. During the repack the Doctor told me it was okay to scream profanity and call her names as she was married to a truck driver. I did a lot of breathing and concentration; and squeezing the assistants ring and pinky fingers. They also mentioned that it was one of the biggest packing jobs they have ever had to do. By the end of it Dr. Sprangel said that I was one tough cookie. I laughed and told her that's what my wife calls me; Cookie. She told me to tell her that I was no longer a cookie, but a tough cookie.



I left the Doctor's office and headed over to my Mom's to help her set up her new TV and PS3. Thankfully, I had asked Curtis to come over and help me because I was in no condition ot pull cables around and reach for different electronics. Curtis was a big help. I got Mom's PS3 up and running, put a game on it for her and headed back to Ashland.

The next day I woke up feeling like crap. I had a headache and felt nauseous. I got dressed and started drinking a glass of milk. I didn't make it through the glass of milk before it was time to head to the bathroom and remove that milk instantly from my body. I called into work, which I really didn't want to do. Went to bed and drank some water which came back up later anyway. Finally around 7:30pm I started to feel slightly better and had some soup. Saturday I tried to go into work and do some stuff I was going to do on Friday only to find that the computers were borked and I couldn't do anything on them. So I ended up hanging with Ginger the rest of the day. Sunday was spent playing Ninja Gaiden 2. (See my review over at Nosh's Game Emporium. http://noshimitsu-games.blogspot.com/ )

Monday was time for another repack on the arm. This time, I procured a driver and took two of my pain pills when heading out. They also used some numbing stuff. This time went way smoother and was over before I knew it. There were no results from the biopsy yet, so hopefully Thursday when I go in again for the redress.

Well that was long probably boring for any of you who read this. Work is getting better. they're giving me actual spots to edit and stuff. I still have a ton to learn, but it's a lot of fun. Guess that's about it for now. Until next time, same Bat time, same Bat channel.

-BJ